Time wounds all heels

I've been away from this blog, and from my married man, for many weeks.  I mourned the relationship way beyond what it deserved.  Then just as I got myself together and started to move on, he contacted me again.

Against my better judgement and the protests of loyal friends who helped me recover, I met with him for coffee in our park.  It really was just talk at first.  Then it became kissing.  Then it became stroking.  Then it stopped, because he had some issues.  Guilt, no doubt.  Not just guilty for cheating on his wife, but guilty for stirring up old feelings in me.

Then a few very short (one sentence) emails, then nothing.

I recovered much faster this time.  Began dating someone else.

Then he emailed again.  He wants to see me.  Again.

I don't think I can do this again.  I don't think my heart can take it.  And my new guy, who happens to have the same first name and astrological sign as this one, probably wouldn't be too happy.

Yeah...it is

It is definitely going to be a long term thing, if we can manage to be discreet.  And by we I mean me.

He's been emailing me every day from his golf trip and telling me he misses me.  He asked if I would meet him on Monday so we could spend some time together before I leave on my trip next friday.   I am now completely certain he has feelings for me beyond sexual gratification.  And that goes both ways.  It's going to be hard when this is over.

I'm thinking of setting up a new checking account at a different bank in just my name.  Just in case.

Golfing

Tomorrow he is off on a week long golfing trip with his best friend.  I truly hope he has a fabulous time.  And I hope he comes back to me.

He wasn't able to talk to me after noon or so today.  I had hoped he would at least say goodbye.  After the body bliss of yesterday, I'm feeling vulnerable and a little needy.

I know he worked today, and when he should have been doing laundry and packing yesterday he was making love to me.  So of course his evening was full.  And then there is his wife. I try not to think about what they are doing in the hours before he is away from her for a week.  I know what I would be doing.  I know what I just did.

Please please please let me hear from him.
Please let our plans for when he returns be real.
Please help me have a little faith.

Oh God I think I'm falling.

Our first time

At least I hope it was only the first

Instead of a cheap motel we got a decent one with a king sized bed and a fireplace.  He poured the champagne and we toasted to our...what?  I don't know what.

As soon as we walked through the door we were in each others arms.  For the first time.  Oh, we'd hugged, and kissed, but this was different.  We're in a relationship now.  We are a couple.  And we were holding each other in the bright of day in a hotel room.

He pinned me against a wall and kissed me.  It was amazing.  His passion for me sweeps me off my feet.

The sex was mind blowing.  I was more limber than I have been in years.  And he touched me everywhere, actually getting excited when he touched me.  When he put his fingers inside me my heart beat wildly.

Then he entered me.  It was everything I had anticipated.  And when he emptied into me, he looked into my eyes.  He was with me, not using me.  It was incredible.

Lying together afterward, listening to music, a very special song came on.  We just held each other and listened.  It was so tender.  I didn't expect tender.  Three months ago, I didn't expect sex.

What a beautiful mess I'm in.

So much water

Water under the bridge.
We fought
We made up
We made love.

He went from being cold to being affectionate.
His words

it was also incredible watching you cumm while I was fucking you.It was incredible cumming deep inside you hope to do it again very soon.

and before we made love, there was a week of things like this (again, his words)

 I miss you babe and want to hold you close and kiss you.

if I have the boat home at all will you consider going for a ride?

 I know want to know your important me.So I have confession to make I think about you constinlatly.I check my email all the time hoping I got something from you and not just porn.

And all this from a Scorpio who just a few weeks ago didn't want any "feelings" involved.

I'm falling so hard.  This is going to hurt when it's over.

A little place

We just need a little place of our own

A quiet little place we can call  home

Far away from the world out there

With southern breezes through our hair

To laugh and cry and spend the night

Holding each other oh so tight

We need a little place

Of our own.

Down a dirt road dry and bumpy

Getting there might make you grumpy but

Once you’re in you feel the love

Our private spot fits like a glove

No one knows just where we are

It’s very close but feels so far

We’ve found a little place

Of our own

Telephone and prying spouse

Won’t invade our little house

Walk right in and sit right down

Only you and me around

Making love or maybe laughing

Caught up in our joy of having

A little place

Of our own. 

I saw you today

And as usual it was magic.  Your kisses are like fire.

You talked to me like a friend today.  You told me about some things and I told you about some things, and we grew our friendship.

We have a big day coming up.  Will we follow through?  You said it today--we have a lot to lose.

Am I worth the risk?

Are you?

Monday

Dreary skies and his wife working from home because of the snow mean we can't see each other today.  So I sent him a fantasy....

Today’s adventure begins when meet at a local hotel.  You have texted me to tell me where and in what room, where you are waiting.

When I get to your door, you take me into your arms and kiss me gently.  I love the way your eyes light up when we kiss.  It always makes me wonder what is in store after the kisses.

Instead of jumping right into bed, which we both want to do very badly, we instead head to the hot tub downstairs.  It’s a shame to have to be clothed, but since it is very public there are rules!  Sitting close inside the bubbling water we start kissing again and I feel your hands gently caress my breasts, with your fingers rubbing circles around the hard nipple.  I move to straddle you and take your face into my hands and kiss you deeply.  You feel the heat between my legs even warmer than the water.  With the gentle motion of the whirlpool, my body moves against yours, stroking you between my thighs.  When you suggest we go upstairs, I put my finger to your lips.

Looking around to see if anyone is watching, I quickly slip your hard cock out of your trunks.  You smile thinking we’re not going to wait until we get upstairs, but then I shock you by quickly diving under the water and taking you into my mouth.  You are so shocked you almost cum, and when I surface, I laugh at your startled expression.  Quickly, I take another breath and go under again, this time to tease you with  my tongue.  You are rock hard and aching to release.  But I don’t let you.

I climb out of the hot tub and throw a towel around me.  Grabbing our key card I rush to the room, leaving you stunned and trying to get back into your pants.  By the time you can get out of the water I am gone. You wait impatiently, still hard and wet from the spa water, for the next elevator.

By the time you get to our room you’re a little frustrated and a bit angry.  The door is propped open for you, and you come in and see I am not there.  Instead, I come out from the washroom with fresh red lipstick and tell you to go lay on the bed for your massage.  When you lay back, I smile and tell you no, that you must lay on your stomach.  This doesn’t make you happy, as you had planned to take me onto you and have me ride.  You are anxious to cum.  You ache for it.  But you do as I ask and roll over to your stomach.  My hands touch your shoulders and gently massage their way down your back, more feeling than massaging.  The heat from my touch makes laying on your stomach uncomfortable and you fidget, hoping I will take the hint.  Instead, I grab your ass and dig my nails in just a little to give you a contrast to the gentleness.  I want to let you know I mean business.  My fingernail traces down the back of your leg to your balls, just barely visible against the bedspread.  After drawing some little circles on your tight skin, I tell you, finally, to roll over.

On your back, with your giant cock free and rigid, you wonder what is next.  You’ve learned I am not as predictable as you might think, so you wait.  I tell you to watch me as I slip my hands around your pole and my red fingernails grip you firmly.  The bright red polish is interesting on my soft hands but you suddenly realize my lipstick is just as red.  You know what is next.

I force your legs apart with knees bent, making the view of you breathtaking.  You are so vulnerable in this position, with your cock begging to be tasted.  You’re feeling a little scared, but mostly thrilled and ready.  My red lips slide down your shaft as I take you deep into my throat.  Touching with my hands and tonguing with my mouth, I taste you and tease you and drive you wild.  You ask if I am ready for you to cum, and you are breathless with the want of it. 

Laughing, I back off, and grab an ice cube from the bucket on the nightstand.  Before you know what is happening, I’ve cupped the ice on your balls while gently biting your nipples.  The intense cold prevents you from cumming, driving the ache deep into you and making you angry with frustration.  You jump up from the bed and yell to me, asking what the hell that was for.  You decide to get even, and force me down onto the bed, kissing me hard enough to make my lips swollen.  Grabbing two handfuls of tits, you nibble and suck my nipples and you get hard again easily.  When I moan and close my eyes, my body arches with desire.

Evilly, you force my legs apart and expose me to you.  Gently you take my clit between thumb and forefinger and slide the skin back, exposing the bare essence that is so sensitive.  Your hot mouth is on me then, teasing me with your tongue and sucking that little nub as my juices begin to flow. You slip one finger in, then two and I tighten around you so ready to cum.  Sensing that, you pull out and laugh, teasing me the same way I tortured you.  Then your tongue plows deep into me and I gasp, full of need. You know it won’t take much to send me over the edge.

Kneeling between my legs, you rub the tip of your cock over my clit and the electric shock of that sensation makes me shudder.  Putting just the bare edge of you into me, you stroke me just a little more between your fingers.  Suddenly and without hesitation, I’m cumming on the head of your cock and you watch, fascinated and pleased at my response to you.  Before I’m done shuddering you dive into me, fucking me deeply.  I’m so wet from your playtime that you slide easily, heating us both up with the friction.  I draw my knees up to take you even deeper and you begin to softly moan.  The sound of your pleasure drives me over the edge and I cum again, harder even than before.  The electric shocks of my contracting muscles massage you past the breaking point and you empty into me, strong and steady, until you are spent.  You’ve filled me, and as we lay together with you still inside and my throbbing starting to calm down, your big load begins to leak out of me.  Our eyes meet, and yours soften with affection when you see my wide-eyed, satisfied look.

We re-position and I am in your arms with my head on your chest, trying to catch my breath.  You hold me close, as if I might disappear if you let go.  Our time is limited though, and when we dress you see the ruby lipstick ring around the base of your cock.  You smile, remembering how it got there…

Keep Me in Mind

I want to put lipstick on your collar
leave the scent of my perfume
So that every time you saw her
I'd still be in the room

I want to leave you with the linger
of my touch upon your skin
And when I crook my finger
You will run to me again

Take me when we can
Love me while we're hiding
Be my extra man
Hang on tight, this ride we're riding

5am

It’s 5am and I just can’t sleep

And I know you’re not alone

I’ve gone too far and I’m in too deep

Even though I’ve always known

She wears your ring

My hearts on fire when I kiss your lips

Then you go home and my heart just rips

It’s just a fling I don’t mean that much

We tell ourselves that it’s just lunch

Then wind up in a hotel room

And parting ways when it’s too soon

I’m all torn up

I just can’t stop

Now It’s 5am and I just can’t sleep

And I know you’re not alone

I’ve gone too far and I’m in too deep

Even though I’ve always known

She wears your name